(This is kind of long... just like waiting for Tech Support)
All of our technicians are currently busy helping people even less competent than you, so please hold for the next available technician. The waiting time is now estimated at between fifteen minutes and eternity. In order to expedite your call, please punch your 63-digit product identification number onto your telephone touch pad, followed by your product serial number, which can be found in a secret compartment inside your computer where, for security purposes, it is printed in the smallest typeface known to mankind. Do that now.
(Lengthy excerpt from Mahler's 'Lugubrious' Symphony in C Minor)
Thank you again for calling Technical Support. We recommend that you sit at your computer, preferably turning it on at some point, and have at hand all your floppy disks, CD-ROM disks, computer manuals and ori- ginal packing materials in order to allow the technician to aid you in the unlikely event that he ever takes your call. It would also be helpful for you to refrain from sobbing while explaining your problem to the technician. Shouting obscene threats will cause you to be im- mediately disconnected and blackballed from further communication with Technical Support, not only from ours but that of every other electron- ics related firm in the industrialized world.
(Medley of Hootie and the Blowfish hits rendered by the Mormon Tabernacle Choir)
Thank you once again for calling Technical Support. In order to enable us to better assist you, it would be helpful to know more about you and your equipment. Have you called Technical Support before? If you have please press the numeral 'one' on your telephone touchpad. If not, press the numeral 'two.' If you are not sure, using the letters on your touchpad, spell out the phrase: 'I am confused and despondent and quickly losing the will to live.' Once you have finished, hang up your phone and make arrangements to sell your computer because by the time the technician takes your call, it will be obsolete, and you will be too senile to use it anyway.
(Rangoon Opera Company's classic 1963 recording of Wagner's 'Ring Cycle' in its entirety)
Thank you for calling Technical Support. Unfortunately, all of our technicians just went out for lunch. This means that to the estimated waiting time we gave you earlier, you may now add at least another two hours. _
(Wayne Newton singing 'Danke Schoen' 1,743 times)
Thank you for calling Technical Support. Before talking to the tech- nician about your problem and risking the possibility that you may be wasting his valuable time, please ask yourself the following questions:
* If my monitor screen is dark, is it possible I have forgotten to plug in my computer or, alternately, that I have been suddenly struck blind?
* Have I exhausted every possible means of help before utilizing the sacred, last-resort-only telephone option?
* Have I sent a fax to Fast Fax Technical Support?
* Have I consulted my manual?
* Have I read the Read-Me notice on the floppy disk?
* Have I called up my know-it-all geek cousin who I can't stand but who can probably fix this thing for me in under five minutes?
* Have I given the central processing unit of my computer a good, solid whack?
If you can not honestly answer 'yes' to all these questions, please get off the line immediately so that our overworked technicians can help those truly desperate customers whose suffering is so much greater than yours.
(Recording of Tibetan monks performing a six-day chant celebrating the reincarnation of one of their recently deceased colleagues into the form of a salamander.)
Thank you for calling Technical Support. You may not be aware that this week we are featuring a discount on a number of popular CD-ROM titles you may wish to purchase, such as the best-selling Porn Doubler, which allows you to access erotic material from the Internet twice as fast. If you would like to hear all 26,000 titles read to you, shout 'Yes! Yes! Yes!' into the telephone now. This will not cause you to lose your place in line for Technical Support; in fact it may jump you ahead of several other callers.
(Tape loop of background music from the soundtrack of Johnny Mnemonic starring Keanu Reeves.)
Thank you for calling Technical Support. Our electronic sensors indi- cate that you are about to slump over and die from a massive frustra- tion attack combined with severe dehydration from lack of food and water. Before doing so, please take a moment to place your telephone receiver back in its base and switch off your computer so as not to wear down its internal battery. As a non-living person, you will have no further need of Technical Support and so we regretfully must remove you from our list of registered product users. Remember, we valued your patronage and were happy to serve your needs. Do not hesitate to have your heirs or beneficiaries contact us should any further techni- cal problems arise.
Thank you for your submission. A Technical Support staff member will be in touch with you shortly. In the meantime, you can learn more about the Systel advantage in the following video. Saying ‘Thank You’ to a Coworker or Client; Saying ‘Thank You’ to Someone You Don’t Know; 4 Tips for Writing a ‘Thank You’ Card After an Illness; We’ve assembled some templates. Whether you’re trying to say thank you to strangers or coworkers, there are some easy ways to do it. Saying ‘Thank You’ to a Family Member.
If you’re lucky, friends and family rally around you during illness. That means you might get flooded with visits, flowers, and cards. After you’ve taken some time to recover, it’s time to respond. But what can you say? After you write “thanks for the lovely card,” what’s left? There’s so much blank space.
- Technical Support. Thank you for submitting information on your technical issue. We will be in touch soon. Feel free to contact us at the numbers on the right. Keep up with the latest at AFL by subscribing to our monthly newsletter, eConnect.
- Thank you for all your help! Words are not enough to express to you how grateful I am for your help, so I will simply say thank you. I only hope I'll be able to return the favor sometime. If there's ever anything you need, all you have to do is ask! I just wanted to let you know how much I appreciate your support. Thank you for being there for me.
- To further simplify the hotel booking engine support process Bookwize offers a Customer Support Ticket System ensuring that any hotel support request will be held immediately. Our Support Team is constantly available to provide you with all hotel booking system support needed to guarantee that your booking system is professionally managed.
Jump ahead to these sections:
We’ve assembled some templates. Whether you’re trying to say thank you to strangers or coworkers, there are some easy ways to do it.
Saying ‘Thank You’ to a Family Member
If you’re particularly close to a family member, it might be tempting to just call your loved one up on the phone. And that works, too! But if you’re trying to respond to condolences, a physical card with a cute design might be best.
1. “Hi, Mom! Thanks so much for coming to visit me at the hospital. I really appreciated you being there, especially since you had to drive so far to get here. Waiting for the test results was pretty lonely by myself, and I’m so glad you came. I’m so glad to have seen you before the holidays, even if it wasn’t under the best of circumstances. Love you!”
2. “Hi, Dad! Thanks so much for staying with me while I was stuck in bed for a week. I wasn’t sure how I would take care of the kids, or even get myself a drink of water when I needed it. You showing up was such a miracle. Thanks for taking the kids to school, making meals, and keeping everything going. Even though I’m back to normal, I still miss having you around! I love you.”
3. “Hi, Aunt Sarah! Thanks for bringing flowers to the hospital. It’s been so long since we worked in your garden, but you still remembered that I love yellow roses! It was such a nice surprise to wake up and see them next to my bed. Now that I’m home from the hospital, I’m going to dry the petals and make flower sachets. I’m sure they’ll smell great when I tuck them into my dresser drawers. I can’t wait to see you at Thanksgiving!”
4. “Hello, Grandma! I’m so glad you called to check up on me while I was sick. It’s been so long since I heard your voice! I’m happy that you’re doing well. Thanks for taking the time to call me. Spending so much in bed was lonely, but your call really cheered me up.”
5. “Hi, Grandpa! Thanks for bringing over that casserole. I remember making it with you when I was little — it brought back so many great memories! I’m so glad I got to see you before Christmas, even if it wasn’t under the best circumstances. Thanks again!”
Thank You Tech Support
» MORE: Create your will in only 10 minutesSaying ‘Thank You’ to a Close Friend
Whether you’re thanking a friend for condolences or their sympathy message, these templates might be just what you’re looking for. You can also include them with any sympathy gift ideas you have.
6. “Hi, Samantha! Thanks for driving me to the doctor’s office for my appointment. I got the prescriptions I needed and I feel so much better already. I wouldn’t have been able to get another ride for a few days and I would have been so miserable. Thanks again!”
7. “Hi, Megan! Thanks for the lovely sympathy card you sent. It’s on my mantel right now, and I love looking at it. Your support means the world to me right now.”
8. “Hi, Mike! Thanks for your phone call after my mom passed away. I was so grateful to have someone to talk to at that moment. I appreciate your support and love during this time.”
9. “Hi, Michelle! Thanks for dropping by to visit me at the hospital. I really appreciated the chance to visit while you were in town! I was in the hospital for so long and it was easy to get lonely. Your visit really cheered me up!”
10. “Hi, Tom! Thanks for modifying my home after the accident. There’s no way I would have been able to make it up the stairs into my house. The work you did for my wheelchair means so much to me. I really appreciate it!”
Saying ‘Thank You’ to a Coworker or Client
Responding to professional courtesy is important, but it might not require much detail. If you're thanking a client, a small gift, like a gourmet gift basket, might be a nice touch.
11. “Hello! Thanks so much for taking the time away from work to attend my father’s funeral. I was so comforted by having kind, supportive people around me. I really appreciate your time and support!”
12. “Hello! Thanks for your thoughtful sympathy gift. I love the gift basket and have already used the bath salts you tucked in! Thanks for picking out so many things that I love. The chocolate is especially delicious, and I really appreciate your thoughtfulness.”
13. “Hello! Thank you for the beautiful sympathy card. It’s really comforting to read. I’ve put it on my kitchen counter as a reminder. Thanks so much for taking the time to pick it out and send it. I’m so grateful to have kind people around me right now.”
14. “Thank you for your kind phone call. I really appreciate your sympathy during this time — your thoughtfulness means so much, and I’m glad to know someone like you.”
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15. “Thank you so much for donating vacation days. I wasn’t sure how I would manage to go home for the funeral, but now I can. I really appreciate your selflessness — it has made a world of difference for me and my family.”
Saying ‘Thank You’ to Someone You Don’t Know
You might have received condolences from people online or strangers who heard about your situation. Even if it might feel a little awkward, it’s still important to thank them, too. If you don’t know them, it’s okay to keep it short.
16. “Thanks so much for reaching out to me. I really appreciate your thoughtful note that I received after my mother’s passing.”
17. “I’m so sorry I haven’t sent this sooner, but I wanted to thank you for the sympathy bouquet you sent. It was one of my favorite arrangements on display during the funeral. Thanks for taking the time to find such a lovely arrangement.”
18. “Thank you for sending that beautiful card. I’m including it in a memorial collage — the artwork and sentiments are lovely. Thanks for your thoughtfulness.”
19. “Thanks so much for sending along your condolences through my colleague. I really appreciate your kindness.”
20. “Thanks for taking the time to respond to my Facebook post. I really appreciate your willingness to reach out and express your kind good wishes.”
4 Tips for Writing a ‘Thank You’ Card After an Illness
If you want to write your own message, here are some tips to nail it.
Be specific
After you’ve thanked someone, it’s time to expand on what you plan to do with that person’s gift. This is easier if it was a physical item. Maybe the individual sent a lovely card and you plan to include the card in a box of mementos. Or maybe you want to make sachets from flowers from a loved one.
Tell your friend or loved one that his or her gift is both loved and appreciated. Finding a gift is difficult, and many people stress over it. Write about how it’s appreciated.
Tell them why
If you’re short on words, what else can you say? You’ve followed the proper protocol. Start with a greeting, add a thank you, and tell your friend or loved one what you’re going to do with the gift. What else can you say? Tell the individual why his or her gift mattered. Mention how loved and supported the gift or visit made you feel.
This approach works even if you didn’t like the gift. There’s still no need to be rude! You can use other phrases to communicate gratitude without being untruthful. For instance, you could write, “I’ve been too tired to make meals lately, so I’m grateful you brought by that casserole.” This approach works even if you tasted the casserole and didn’t like it.
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Ask about them
Even if you know the person you’re writing to won’t respond with a card of their own, it’s still polite to take interest in his or her life. If this person does choose to respond, your questions will offer something to write about.
You can take bits and pieces from conversations you had. For example, let’s say your cousin was eight months pregnant when she visited you. It might be fun to ask if she’s decided on a baby name yet.
Send it soon
If you’ve been sick, it might be tempting to put off card responses as long as possible. After all, you’ve got other priorities. Take the time to heal and rest up. But once you’ve done that, send the card within a month.
If more than a month has passed, don’t hope they won’t notice. It’s always best to acknowledge this small breach of etiquette in your card. Start with a phrase like “I’m sorry it took me so long to respond, but…” This acknowledges your tardiness while moving directly to the purpose of your card.
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Responding to Messages
If you’re ill or responding to condolences, it might take you some time to write out messages, and that’s okay! Once you sit down with some thank-you cards and template messages, it won’t take long at all.
If you're looking for more ideas on how to show your thanks, check out our picks for the best appreciation gifts.